i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Randomize