i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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