was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
