I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I'm really busy with my period
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