Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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