We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
