i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
