Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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