Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
