I'm lost and stupid without you.
Non-Jews are for practice
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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