We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
