Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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