it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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