I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
