when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
