I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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