I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
