my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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