For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
