I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
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