"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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