I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
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