Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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