Duck Duck Cougar?
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
