Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
