He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
