if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
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