if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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