I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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