Midget sex pt 2 tonight
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
