how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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