i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize