You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
