what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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