We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
