I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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