i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
