i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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