p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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