Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
