We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
