Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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