She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
