well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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