just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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