Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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