just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
