Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
