Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
