youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
