the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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