Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Non-Jews are for practice
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
