I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
