and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I just cut my nipple shaving
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Randomize
