Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
