i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Randomize
