I'm lost and stupid without you.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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