Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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