I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Just high enough for therapy.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
