He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
