All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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